Sunday, December 9, 2012

Writeless


How do writers deal with not being able to write? Musicians would sing covers but writers can’t rewrite covers. Actors would play old sketches but writers can’t republish old material.

Writers are only true when they write… significantly. For the rest of their days and times they search for portals to take them back to that truth. Everything else is transitory. Everyone else is an escalator to the sun.

Words upon words from which a tavern this wayfaring scribbler may imagine and then remember his once upon a map of roads and odes.

Writers are never done writing... even when they say they are. Even when I imply I am writeless. It’s only a little matter of discord between my oracle and I. It is temporary. This will pass. I am pushing. I am pulling… myself, in both counts, towards her. She too will come.

Was it me or was it her? I always walked toward her. Maybe she always walked away and I only realise such visual oddities when I stop. I stopped not for contempt or insult, for in the face of inspiring muses those are petty sentiments. I stopped for air.

Oh dear Oracle, have I let you go? And what of words and terms you inspired? And even worse, what becomes of manifestos I desired?

O dear O, come back and speak softly or (yes I’ll compromise) just walk away slowly so I may run and it is me who is catching up with you. You may not feel contempt or insult, for in the face of bemused scribes to have those sentiments is to be petty. You stop (or slow) to remain fair. You may become rare but still a little there.

O my dear O, walk slowly and speak viciously. I want your rude with your sweet. I want all that you utter and think until I can write again and then you may leave and I may breath…. But let me know where you’ll be.

3 Comments:

Blogger Yousra Totah said...

Without writing....Unfortunately musicians wouldn't be able to sIng covers or even have any notes to remember to play.And Actors wouldn't be able to act and memorise their scripts. As much as they have a great memory. People do forget without referring to some words to remind them a little bit of what they memorised. Children learn how to speak...but they also need to remember the shapes of the letters. Without writing they can't differentiate one letter from the other. All the best in your coming writings.

Sunday, December 09, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

.. that it's great you've still got that cynical edge. I always loved you 'cruel'.. no, could never deal with your want's (too vulnerable and intimate) let alone profound concepts with strings attached (too cold and finite at 1st attempt). Yet, astounding would only be your inability to recognize your writing talent. Once mastered, she's bound by the contract written by nature you can't influence, like a mare you broke but the stubborn spirit remains untamed though lost it's wildest resistance. Very well grasped, you may run alongside eachother and the occasional playful catch-me-if-you-can.. but as they say, the chase is better than the catch and yes, gotta give Her that respect and permissive advance, the ever-so-barely-there Goddess. A matter of perspective as well, remember that. Unless it all becomes a foolish game it isn't. Unless your longing turns into a search for what's within.. long taken for a ride elsewhere.. to fields unlimited. So, seek thee out the freedom to your skills and make believe for yourself, no one else needs to understand. She's only at an arm's stretch away to grab.. gently grab.. just for the moment and then set free again to inspire. Humility goes a long way but it needs to be given instead of merely admired. And the writers' pain is something better experienced so be glad. Just a milestone on the road and yet.. so much more. A teacher of a sort, be a proud student! If need more convincing, have a listen to Foolish Games by Jewel and/or (re-)watch/read Dr Zhivago. No idea why latter came to my mind but my intuitions I trust and was instinctically reminded of now. Closing thoughts: simply lovely is this piece above but you've fooled me once..(and in the end I got 'evicted' but it's only fine, seen that all too many times to learn the value about..) and 3rd time would be disastrous so let me already stop at barely-twice. Not buying in this time, you'll be fine. As you are. Take care now.
Suzan (of Eastern European descent otherwise largely unclassified as I believe and feel about)

Monday, December 10, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your oracle, it is written in the firmament that holds you clasped tenderly in her turbulent embrace, is closest to you when you think she is trailing away...persevere Zaki Nusseibeh

Tuesday, December 11, 2012  

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